Thursday, July 19, 2012

Love it when plotholes fill themselves. :3

So I am working on getting my thesis novel good and tight before I send in my first massive submission to my mentor, Barbara Miller.  There were some saggy bits, some repetitions in terms of scene purpose...and not nearly enough Alex. :)

I am happy to say I have been diligently fixing that all day and it's looking good. And Alexy...lots more Alex. :3

 EXCERPT: Takes place in an undisclosed near future. Fossil Fuel sales are illegal. A person's entire financial and personal history is kept on a SIN-card. 

“You don’t look like you’re thirty.” The clerk behind the counter eyed Alex with a suspicion he was long accustomed to.

“If I was going to fake my credentials, don’t you think I would at least have a decent picture in the file?” Alex snatched his SIN-card from the clerk's hand and stuffed it into his pants pocket. “What do you care anyway? You’re selling gasoline out back.” 

“Yeah, and your boyfriend’s card ran clean for alcohol and tobacco purchase. You, kid, are going to send up red flags all over when the transaction completes.” He pulled the case of beer out of Alex’s reach.

“He’s…not my boyfriend, he’s my father.” Alex groaned and slapped his hand down on the case of beer, tugging it toward him. 

“Oh really.” The clerk tugged it back. “Well your daddy’s card says he’s thirty five. How exactly does that work?” 

Every time. Every damned time Jesse sent him in to buy the beer this happened. Why was it so easy to believe that Zakai could be thirty when he was as old as dust, but Alex couldn’t pull it off no matter how many times his birthday rolled around? 

“Fine, he’s my boyfriend. You caught me. Give me the beer before I have my boyfriend kick your ass.”

1 comment:

Fawn said...

LOL I love Alex