Sunday, March 4, 2007

Cake or Death

So I’ve gone prochoice on my ghetto field mice. Last night I sat down in front of one as it picked clean one of my snap traps. I was a foot from it, looking it right in the eye, and I swear it flipped me the finger in between deftly scooping peanutbutter off the pressure plate with Indiana Jones like skill. It didn’t care that I was there, it didn’t care and it knew precisely how that trapped worked and how much peanut butter it could take before it had to back away slowly.

Later in the evening, I heard mousey screaming in the living room and so I went running in there from my study to ask my husband what the hell. He hadn’t heard anything until I pointed out the battle going on between a teeny tiny baby mouse and Gris Gris right in the middle of the floor not two feet from him (he has WOW deafness due to a constant attachment of headphones glued to his ears). I shooed Gris away and picked it up...and after snuggling up with the little monster for a bit and trying to feed it a strawberry--which it promptly threw back at me and went into a hissing tantrum over--I decided to put it outside by the wood line. Most likely it will find its way back in and it will get caught again...but not today; its cuteness saved it.

So, back to that prochoice. Since I have caught some flak about my extermination methods, and evil as these little monsters can be, they are disgusting cute sometimes too, so...I’m taking a cue from Eddie Izzard.

Cake or Death.

My catch release traps are going back out along side my snap traps. My Snap traps set up best with strawberries and peanut butter, and my catch release work best with cake. So the mouses will have a clear choice—cake or death? I’m not killing them, I’m simply offering them two very valid exit strategies. It’s their choice, and who the hell am I to take away their freedom of choice. They can also choose, of course, to march their happy asses back out they way they came in...I’m down with that, but if they want my help I’m willing to be as cooperative in their exodus as I can be—whether that be via bagging them and flinging them into a burn pile or turning them loose in the woods, we’re cool either way.

So yeah, this is it mouses...Cake or death?



mythicized said...

That is so awesome. XD

disturbedgraves said...

Thought it was cute... ^.^

scribblekitten said...


Man what a softy, You KNOW what I'd have done to the little beggers, the song "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" ring any bells? Yeap, sticky trap and Maxwell's silver hammer works very effectively every time, No more return visits and no toes or fingers in a snap trap.

But hey, I'm a cold heartless bitch at times, or so I've been told. Yeah, sure they are cute, little fuzzy faces. However, I don't have peace talks
with the wild savage beasts that invade to eat me out of house and home, literally. And I don't care if it is killing them, because it quickly comes down to a choice of them or us with these pests. They out breed us, out run us and often out fox us. They live in places within our homes that only they and a cockroach can, some of these places very nasty with potential human health hazards, such as sewer drains and the like. They blind side us to break through walls to steal the choices foods and tidbits, while littering everywhere they go with libral coats of urine and feces (more health hazards)and their constant need to chew destroys property with impunity(Hello...Black Plague and other germs), and worse of all they make us, our chosen house pets and sometimes our significant others do silly or
randomly violent acts to catch and destroy them, wreaking havoc in the process. Cake or Death, good comcept, use it to catch them and let the cats have them. Then it's natural selection working and no one can say you were cruel to the fuzzy little Indi Joneses, the cat did it. hehee.

Hehe, you give them the Maria Anntonnette choice, I'm hip with that too. Heh, btw, How's that Emotional Black Mail working for you? Didn't work for her, working better for you? ehhee.

That video was a blast. Never heard him before.

disturbedgraves said...

Re: hehehe

OMG! You've never heard of Izzard??? He's only like the best comic EVER! I love him! I know all his stuff by heart, he's just amazing. I can't wait for his new show to come out on FX.

Anonymous said...


Nope, never heard of him before, but once again that is the-other-half's fault mostly because he monoplizes the TV to watch reruns of cop shows and old westerns. Hhehe, I didn't even get to see the Blue Collar show until after they had been on for a long time and Dad insisted I stay long enough to watch an episode with them.

scribblekitten said...

Re: Sorry

That was me btw, responded from the email and for some reason even thou it had me as logged in to LJ, it listed me as Anonymous.

disturbedgraves said...

Re: Sorry

I knew