Thursday, October 6, 2005

Cuponoooodle god. Cup o Noodle kicks regular Ramen’s asssssss.

I can’t afford cup of noodle, that’s some high dollar classy shit there...but my mom and grandma brought me over some shrimp and chicken boxes the other day and they are heaven in a Styrofoam cup. It’s amazing. There’s even little pea things in know how long it’s been since I’ve had a pea thing?

It says instant lunch on the side’s my breakfast.

I feel good...

I stayed up for 48 before yesterday...or yesterday...or...something it's kind of blurred, but it was a long damn time. All sorts of awful shit was going on and when things finally wound down I couldn’t sleep. So, I made the kids some chicken because they love chicken and I made them watch Point Break with me for “educational purposes” (yes I husband didn’t get it either until I started pointing out absolute jewels in the script) and then I crashed from about 4 pm until now...which sucks because I had a lot I should have gotten done last night.

GOD I WANNA WRITE!!!! UHG! It hurts. I’m a writer....I write...this art crap pays the bills(or it pretends to from time to time) but I write damn it...and I haven’t written anything decent in months and it’s killing me. Would you believe I think part of the reason I am getting sicker is that it’s killing me??? Is that even remotely possible? I’ve started writing in my sleep...I woke up tapping on the wall-like a key board-this morning...and I’d been narrating in my sleep...It was this terribly profound scene too...something that just doesn’t happen in co-written or RPed work because when the characters are all your own their minds sort of link and they share this vibe, this energy that fills the page and makes your fingers tremble before you turn it to hurry on to the next. I miss it...I miss it terribly...I miss that mesh.
The only interaction I have with real people is in RP and my co-writing and that’s losing something lately. I think it’s the drugs I am on. I’m having trouble connecting with anything outside of my own head. That really could be it...or at least a good part of it. And then there is the infamous chapter 5...the chapter that died...or rather wouldn’t DIE. I have to wonder...If we were to fix that...fix that one massive goof...if we’d be able to move on without incident?

Fuck it...I need to write some solo Carnal Company work...because I’m not going to be happy until I do. I think Zakai is giving me a brain tumor...not really...but maybe, he is a hateful bastard. He needs to be written, Arles needs to be written, Sam needs to be written, Voodoo Colt needs to be written...and gods damn it...Alex needs love...and I am the only person who’s gonna make that happen as it should, so YES. I have to start writing. Even if it means I don’t sleep. I need to find a few hours a day to write on my own and tell everything else to go to hell...maybe then I’ll be happy and sane and even healthy again.

Can’t hurt to try huh?

Hmm...that is to work I go.


scribblekitten said...

Those were regular Ramen's? Hehe, Mom and I both thought they were, I even bought some for me of the same kind the last time I went to the store but haven't opened the case yet. I did wonder why they had gone up in price so much,ehhehe.

I'm glad you liked them. I've never eaten them before, only the regular kind, but they are one of the things I can eat without causing me stomach problems now. We thought you needed a "Care package from home" to cheer you up a bit.

Hey you can't go with sleep,kiddo. You better schedule time to got at least some during all this hard work or you're going to make yourself sicker. Oh btw, you need to look at the new rules on the DA print accounts regarding requirements for print images. They just put out a new News letter from the print department about changing the file types and sizes for print order images or they will delete your images.

Man, I've so out of touch with the world lately with all this disability stuff. Now that we don't have access to DL music from the net...I'll very get new music. That just sucks the big one cause I'll probably lose most of my music when I get a hard drive installed. I can't even get the tunes to write to my data disks for save keeping like I have all my other files. Comp keeps telling me not enough resource memory to run my CDwriter. Oh well, I'll just have to get them from you I guess. ehhhe

scribblekitten said...


This is what I write like when I've not had enough sleep in days. I can't write. First paragraph should have read: "Were not regular"

Third paragraph: "you can't go WITHOUT sleep"
Last paragraph: "I've been so out of touch"

Well, going to bed now for a few hours and hopefully get some rest today if my body agrees with that. Love ya's, later.

andartha said...

White Shadows and Black Reflections it is.

When I said take your time, I meant it. I know you've had quite a lot of hassle these last few weeks and as I said, I'm in no particular hurry. I completely trust you to start and finish the pic sometime within the next half year or so, so anytime during the next 6 months is perfectly fine with me.

And well...I expect my money's worth but no more and no less than that. You're an artist, and a damn good one at that, and you bloody well deserve to get paid for your work. And when I say "paid" that means it should bloody well include a profit margin.

You're trying to earn your breakfast-buns here (or cereals or grits or whatever you prefer for breakfast). You are NOT a non-profit organisation. You're a professional (or will be once you finish your education), so that means your clients not only trust you to deliver, but they also trust you to look after yourself, so they can order some more of your art in the future. : )

astentatioux said...


I know you've been busy, as have I, lol, but I was just wondering when do you think you'll have a chance to work on my pieces? :)

_dreamingdead said...

"6. WinMX is dead. There are no more peer to peer download proggies alive. Record industry killed them all. So...does anyone have...Queen’s “Gimme the Prize” and “Prince’s of the Universe” I believe they are on their “Kind of Magic” album...I used to have all their work, but I had a break in several years back and they were stolen and the voices in my head say I need these a crazy person out if you can and...send them my way if you have em?"

WinMX is now a must=pay program. -sad- ;.; However, I believe that kazaa is still available. I'm not sure, I haven't tried it in a month or so. I'll check and if it does, indeed, cooperate, I'll send you what I can get :)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, i know that this is sooo late, but if you still feel the need to have a downloading prog that is free and effective, try DC++
it's the best program for downloading i know of. a bit complicated in the beginning, but it's very easy when you get the hang of it.

I think this is the correct address, not sure tho'