My school...is run by idiots. They have made so many mistakes in processing me that it’s taken me since early December to now JUST to become an OFFICIAL student...and they still have yet to activate my grants and loans that I have already been approved for by the government...because of ...The Process.
Let me explain The ‘freakin’ Process...Even though everything can be handled by some willing person making a few little changes in the computer, all these little trained ants refer religiously to “The Process.” It’s like being in some freaky science fiction film where the computer knows all, the computer loves you and you shall love the computer and follow the divine process or else face terminal deletion due to error in your programming.
Do not point out to them that they CAN help you if they want to...the results can be scary. Do not ask questions like “Why does it take two weeks for this paper to get from your outgoing folder to the person not two doors down the hall?” See, you are expected to just believe in this process, to just swallow that your paperwork is only good if it ferments a little in the outgoing box for a week and then another week in the incoming box of its destination. If you don’t believe in the process then these people you see snacking on donuts and goofing off and gossiping in their offices MIGHT have to actually sit at their computer and type in a few numbers and spend five minutes of their time correcting mistakes they made weeks ago...and thus life as these sponge heads know it will come to an end.
They make far too many mistakes to be expected to correct them all immediately when brought to their attention. If they did that they’d really have to work. What? You want them to WORK for their paychecks? Are you kidding me? You think they got that dinky little two year degree to WORK.
Program delete: you are a defective.
I really wish I was joking, just being impatient and selfishly trying to push ahead of others. That would make more sense to me. But my father works there, and my husband had these same problems years back when one threat to go talk to the school president had these little office spooge monkeys ACTUALLY doing their JOBS. It literally took all of 10 minutes between the two people needed to okay his GPA correction and to okay his financial aid that was being blocked because of THEIR GPA mistake in the first place. To go around The Process, they would have to forget that they CAN take weeks to even look at your file, that they CAN defer to The Process and not actually do their job, and they are unwilling to do this because then efficiency and caring for the students who pay far too much for this sort of service...might grow to be expected.
Here is the short undetailed list of errors.
1. Mixing up my social number with someone else resulting in me being called...Sir and Mr. Shannon when I am clearly...not. I mean...standing right in front of them I have boobs bigger than my freakin head and they are calling me Mr.
2. Apparent 7 years ago I wanted to be a cop and signed up for many courses in line with that desire...though no one informed ME of this, so that’s probably why I never showed and thus received WF’s(withdraw failures) for each of them. If you can’t tell the sarcasm...I have never....ever...wanted to be a cop.
3. They also, seven years ago, signed me up for classes I could NOT have signed up for, classes with prerequisites, prerequisites that I DID sign up for and formally withdrew from when I was hospitalized. I received F’s in these courses even though I never signed up for them. Please note: the courses I did sign up for seven years ago all showed perfect W’s next to them indicating that I did indeed fill out the paperwork to withdraw...I just must have forgotten to withdraw from those classes I never signed up for...silly me.
4. In trying to get my GPA erased, they instead went in and erased the criminal justices courses....which was correct, but then when they got to the classes I couldn’t take due to needing prerequisites...the ones with the F’s...they LEFT those on my GPA and forgave me the classes with benign little W’s next to them...little W’s that do NOT impact my GPA in any way. This of course has added two more weeks onto the “Process” because my GPA that was supposed to be cleared of ALL grades now reflected a solid F.
5. Then there are all the letters they were supposed to send me to let me know all this was going on. At one point I was being snarled at and told “ You got a letter three weeks ago about this and it’s not our fault you didn’t reply until now” only to, when I asked to see the letter, they found that both their copy AND the copy I was supposed to have received still together in my folder. No apology...just... “Well, it’s a process.”
By yesterday I had basically given up on Financial aid making it to me in time...and I got super lucky that my father-in-law can be a real sweetie and knows how much I NEED this and so he gave me his credit card to put it all on. Of course getting them to accept it was a chore and then it turns out, since it took SO long, a good number of the 8week classes I needed were filled and thus I ended up having to walk a football field length or two going from office to office until I got something resembling an adequate schedule(begging teachers to PLEASE LET ME IN) and to get the business office breed of spooge monkey to accept the freakin credit card.
We paid, we left, we took the kids to Wally World to get their pictures made in their cute little skater clothes they are so proud of...and then I got home to look over my paperwork only to find....they signed me up for EDU 123(a teaching assistant course) instead of ENG 111....which today is full...
I can’t win....