Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Home Movies

So I found a ton of old home movies that I plan to upload in the next few days. Some are just of me and my three boys, but a few are from as far back as highschool. Those are the really interesting ones. My husband is in a few of them, and it’s really strange seeing him back then because he was so tiny and smooth faced and…darn right cute. He’s a bit of a monster now, a cute monster, but still. Outside of that, OMG was I ever a bitch!

I had a stroke shortly after highschool, and my husband always said to me that I was a completely different person, that I’d changed so much it was like he’d been married to two people. I’d always sort of dismissed it as the sort of thing all married people say at some point, but he was serious. I never realized how much I’d changed until watching these videos back to back. I have very vague memories of my teen years, sort of like a bad movie I only half way paid any attention to, but it was these years more than any of the others that I lost after my stroke and I never really thought much about that until looking back over these movies.

I would run into people periodically, and we’d hang out for a little bit and eventually it would come up. Eventually they’d have to point out what a non-bitch I was being, as though they were waiting for a sudden sneak attack of venom from out of nowhere, and I gotta be honest, it always hurt my feelings and sorta broad sided me. I’m not a bitchy person, I’m incredibly easy to get along with. In over a decade I’ve had one major blow up and a couple of really minor ones, and I can assure you it was quite a bit more restrained than 99% of people would be in the same situations.

So yeah, seeing myself yell and scream at people constantly and worse yet having them react to me on that video as if it was just how I was, as if that was just how I normally spoke to them…that was a little off putting. I’d never in a million years speak to someone the way I spoke to people back then, and if I hadn’t seen it on film, you couldn’t have convinced me I was that bad.
Anyway, will be posting proof of the bitchiness, for anyone who doesn’t believe it ever existed. :P


No comments: